A Lament To Lost Standards

I've already sorta covered this in my previous post, Sunk Cost Fallacy, but that was way more empowered and badass than I'm currently feeling so this time, I'm here to bitch and moan.

Have you ever tried to forgive someone, only for it to blow up in your face? 

Like, maybe you caught your best friend stealing from you to support their pill habit, and the only thing you ask is that she buy back Grandma's precious family heirloom she pawned. She think this is just too much, though - FORGIVENESS IS UNCONDITIONAL! HOW DARE YOU REMIND HER OF THE HORRIBLE THING SHE DID! She was high, she was out of her mind, it's so unfair of you to expect her to fix the wrong she committed. 

Or maybe you found your husband's secret gay hook-up profile. He blamed it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol and begs for forgiveness, but you ask that he stop drinking to prove he's seriously committed to making this right. Naturally, he's the real victim here. HOW DARE YOU ASK HIM TO GIVE UP THE ONE SINGLE JOY HE HAS! HE SAID HE WAS SORRY, DAMMIT! NOTHING HE DOES IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! You're making him look bad.

Maybe your coworker threw you under the bus. Maybe your friend group is talking shit behind your back. Maybe your cousin borrowed money for an overdue light bill and immediately went on vacation. 

Honestly, this really is your fault. Not to say that anything you did caused it, these people are indeed assholes, but you stuck around anyway. You're a pushover, an enabler, a people pleaser who shuns confrontation, and assholes like attaching themselves to people like you, because you're easy to exploit. 

Be honest with yourself. That best friend who pawned grandma's precious heirloom - this isn't the first time she's done something like this, is it? How many times has something gone missing when she's been at your house? How many times has she borrowed something and conveniently forgotten to bring it back for 2 years, until eventually she admits that she must have "lost it"? And what about your husband? How many lies have you caught him in? How many people have sent you screenshots of conversations he tried to drunkenly instigate?  How many people have asked for favors, money or babysitting or rides or anything else, that they've never bothered to return?

And you let them. You have no value for your own boundaries or being, why would anyone else?

Don't expect anyone to change for you. This is something you have to do for yourself - that, or accept the fact that these people will continue to exploit you as long as you allow them to do so. 

Empty promises won't fill that void. Stay whole and let them choke.

This skeleton I found on facebook speaks truth.