Dead Internet is Dead

 6 months. 6 whole months I was gone from 'ze facebook. I felt healthy, I went out and rode my bike, I spent time with family, but you know what didn't happen? I don't think I socialized at all with anyone I wasn't immediately related to. 

Part of that is just because I suck at communicating, or at least, I thought I did. You try keeping up with anywhere between 5-15 people a day, sending you tiktoks and reels and shorts and not much else. Haha, what a silly guy! What a cute dog! What a goofy bug! What a stupid kid! What a horrible Karen! What a great song! 

How god damn boring are we? Is that all we do for connection, now? I send you a laugh react, which is admittedly low effort, but it's not like you went through a lot of effort, either. 

In the beginning, I used to try to force conversation. You'd send me some cat doing a thing, and I'd reply back "lol my cat does the same thing when she's hangry!" and you'd say, "mine, too!" and....that's it. 

6 months I managed to stay away, and even though no one hit me up for movie nights or to go feed the ducks or play with makeup or bake bread or whatever the fuck it is people do now, I managed to have fun. I went to those mythical "3rd Places" that supposedly don't exist anymore while everyone I know continued sharing memes and 30 second videos of shit that doesn't matter but gives you a temporary burst of dopamine.

Shot caller right here, y'all

Watching republicans assassinate a couple of politicians got me spooked, though, so I went back to see how things were going, expecting outrage, expecting action of some sort. But nope, they're all still sharing memes. They're a little more politically charged, but that lasts a few days before we're back to the same old bullshit. I shared a picture of the picnic basket I got at goodwill for $3, but in my defense, it's a really cool basket. I think I got like, 20 likes on it so it's not just me saying so. Oh, there was another school shooting? Better get on facebook/instagram/reddit and go share my Thoughts & Prayers™....or share my utter disdain for Thoughts & Prayers™. Maybe argue with somebody about it. That'll show 'em! Now, let's go look at my Shein haul! ™

I don't wanna be part of this anymore. This is some for real bullshit. Like, I'm using your fucking app so you can sell my information, train your AI, track my every move, listen in on my conversations so that if I say out loud "Gee I really need to get some XYZ next time I'm at BigBoxStore" I'll be sure to get 50,000 ads for XYZ and BigBoxStore[dot]Com. 

Fuck this shit.

bye.