Today I learned that men are far, far more likely to leave their wives during illness or serious injury than women with ill or injured husbands. Six times more likely, in fact, at least according to one study.
The sad part is, this information didn't come as a shock or surprise to me. We've seen it many times over with our politicians - Newt Gingrich, John McCain, John Edwards, to name a few big ones. We've seen it in headlines - from Courtney Waldon, whose husband left her after he threw gasoline on a campfire and accidently set his wife on fire in the process, to Aimee Copeland, whose ziplining accident and the amputations that followed proved to be too much for her relationship to bear. Most of us have seen it in our daily lives, as well, whether it's our own personal story, something a friend or family member is going through, or any of the numerous reddit stories or facebook dramas we've read.
While it certainly isn't a rule, it does seem that when the going gets tough, the men often get going.
And the reason I don't find this shocking or surprising?
Every single woman I know, minus one or two exceptions, has put her absolute all into every single relationship she's ever been in. Women who stick around when they've been beaten and battered because they're 100% convinced that one day, he'll come around and realize how much he's hurt her. Women who have raised children by themselves because baby daddy was too concerned with maintaining his freedom and felt trapped by the children he fathered. Women who made so many excuses when boyfriend spent all their bill money on pain pills or meth or alcohol. Women who cried alone at home on forgotten birthdays or anniversaries because hubby had other plans.
Many of us are born caretakers: loyal to a fault, willing to sacrifice our own happiness and well being until there is literally nothing left for others to take.
It's not fair, but we do this to ourselves with the expectation that a partner is just as committed as we are, and would willingly put themselves second to our needs and fuckups, if roles were reversed. But you know...of the dozens of women I've known to stay with a drug addict or abusive alcoholic for 5, 10, 15 years, I can't name one single man I've ever known who stayed with a female of the same caliber. I'm sure they're out there, but I can't name them.
It's just too bad this is a lesson that, for many of us, is almost impossible to learn until you've lived it.
Don't put your own happiness on hold for a guy who would casually force you to do so in the first place because, statistically speaking, they will ditch you the moment you need them.
