Back On That Tarot Bullshit

 Bonus: this one isn't for a made up couple, or even a real peepol with fake names. 

Nope, this time, you get...me. 

The question was - "Universe, you know what I want, and you know how that's working out. My question is not how to make things happen, or how to better accomplish my original goal, but whether I should even waste my time with it."

Aaaaand, I think I got a positive answer. I was not at all prepared for that, considering the circumstances. I was legit at a letting go point...still kinda am, but maybe letting go is key.

I know that's vague. I'm not gonna make it clear. 

It starts with the 9 of Swords and The Lovers. Obviously, it's a relationship that's been bothering me. Duh. But with this 9, most of the anxiety is residual. Leftover garbage from old experiences. The 7 of Pentacles above shows slow growth,  but that's not a bad thing. Some things cannot and should not be rushed. The Ace of Pentacles is an unknown, likely in regards to money. I'm poor white trash, so that makes sense. Money makes the world go 'round, money makes things happen, but where the fuck am I gonna get it right now?

The Kings hugging the sides were unexpected. Honestly, this looks like a change of heart. There's a shift from thinking to doing. Okay, okay, not too shabby.

This last row is kinda weird though.

Wtf. Wtf. 

My worldly influence is security and foundation (10 of Pentacles). My hope/fear is the unknown (High Priestess). My hurdle or obstacle is making sure my choices are sound (hahahahahahah) and my final destination is...taking a leap? But it's a victorious, spur-of-the-moment leap. A leap that is supported by all. 

This doesn't really clear anything up. Not really.  Who out there isn't afraid of the unknown? Who isn't afraid of making the wrong choices? I think, maybe, I have all these money and family cards because most of my life has been about doing what's best for others, but not for me. I think a lot of those same people, though, would see it differently. I never did enough for them. 

Growth is a long, slow process. I can't expect miracles to occur overnight. And more than that, I think getting over the part of me that wastes time trying to please people who won't ever be pleased is necessary.  

I just have to trust that things will work out.