Thursday, February 5, 2026

I Took a Ride on the Egg Cleanse Bandwagon

 You've seen it, I'm sure. I hear it's all the rage on TikTok but I don't use that creepy app, so I wouldn't know, but I see them fairly regularly on reddit and the comments are usually moaning and groaning about it.

So I decided to give it a whirl.
The short and sweet version, in case you are unaware - you take an egg, purify it in whatever way you see fit, and rub it all over your face and body. Then you crack it into a tall glass of room temperature water, wait about 10 minutes, and interpret its meaning. There are 500,930,213,444 cheat sheets available online, most of them copied nearly verbatim off each other, but if you want to be really obnoxious about it, you, too, can go on reddit, explain that you're a "baby witch" and beg someone to interpret it for you. They totally love that over there.

Sadly, I've chosen to do it by myself, and this is my result.

First things to note - my yolk is intact, the water is clean, there are no spots or discolorations or blemishes anywhere. There is some slight webbing in the egg white, and according to the cheat sheets that indicates some kind of negativity, but it's all very low lying. Below the yolk, not climbing up into the water. Nothing jagged, nothing sharp. also note that the webbing doesn't actually make contact with the yolk. 
There is a single, long strand toward the left, connecting a very large surface bubble to the egg white on the bottom. The cheat sheets suggest that bubbles are the result of the negativity being lifted away from you, and if that's the case, this seems like a lovely omen. It's like a UFO beaming up all the angry cows hanging around my feet. 
There's another, smaller bubble hovering over the yolk...it's not connected the way the other one is, but maybe it's like an eggy version of a guardian angel, watching from up high. 

Overall, not terribly eventful, but good things rarely are. I'd like to take comfort in the thought that whatever ick is being thunk in my direction is beneath me. 

Kbai. <3


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