So, let's pretend for a second....
You're a dude on facebook, and you're a boomer.One of your old High School buddies sends your 30 year old daughter a friend request.
No biggie.
Your old buddy, let's call him Dan, writes on your daughter's, let's call her Lana, timeline:
"Hey Lana! Your dad and I are old friends, we go way back! My, how you have grown ;)"
Okay, that's a little skeevy, but I suppose it's pretty harmless. That winky gives it a nasty little uncomfortable kick. But hey, maybe Dan's just not up to speed on how this works. Maybe he has no idea how that comes off to other people. He's kind of old, after all, he might not understand common internet etiquette.
Once again, no biggie. Not really. Okay well, maybe a little, but it's nothing to get bent about. Dan is just a harmless old fart, And Lana is happily engaged anyway.
Most of their other interactions seem pretty benign. He likes her status updates. He watches all of her stories, sends her little heart reactions and stuff.
No biggie. Honestly, it's no biggie. Not a big deal, like, at all.
Then a few weeks down the road, he's back on Lana's timeline:
"Just wanted to say hi. Ran into your dad in town today, got to thinking about what a pretty baby you used to be! Send me pics, I haven't seen you in years!"
That's...kind of weird, right?
Or is that just me?
But I guess Dan still hasn't said anything that's actually inappropriate. Weird? Definitely. Creepy? Maybe. But inappropriate? Naaahh...
No biggie, but you're probably giving him big side eye right about now. Or not. Certainly he's just being nice. There's no way he'd actually...you know...right?
And shortly after that, Dan's back for more.
"Was just thinking about you today and wanted to drop you some love! It would be very nice to see you one day soon...I haven't seen you since you were in diapers! <kissy heart face emoji + winking tongue emoji>"
Okay, those aren't *just* winky faces this time. Plus, he also started following her on Instagram, leaving "Beautiful" and "Gorgeous" and more "My, how you have grown ;)" comments whenever she posts a selfie. He wants to give her presents and stuff. Begs her to come visit him. He doesn't write these things to any of your other children at all, and doesn't follow them on other social media. Just Lana. Maybe your other kids are really ugly or something and Dan didn't like them when they were in diapers. Kissy face!
So, is it just me, or is this creepy as fuck?
So far, everyone I've talked to about it says yes, abso-fucking-lutely, this is creepy.
The problem is, The only person who doesn't think it's creepy is the 30 year old daughter in this story. Lana says Dad's old high school buddy is "just being nice." When Lana's boyfriend notices and says something to her about it, she gets super defensive and claims boyfriend is just jealous, Dan is like, totally harmless! They actually fight about it a little bit, because Lana thinks her boyfriend is trying to force her to "get rid of all my friends just because you can't control your jealousy!"
It's kinda like the time that weird lesbian started messaging Lana with excessively graphic details of what she wanted to do to Lana, and Lana responded and deleted them so her boyfriend wouldn't see.
Honestly, I need to point out that Lana is gaslighting her boyfriend a little here. He never asked her to get rid of anyone, he only pointed out how creepy it was that her dad's wrinkly old friend was constantly making uncomfortable comments. He didn't even get mad about the weird lesbian, he just asked because the lesbian gleefully sent him screenshots that weren't exactly incriminating, but also weren't innocent, either. Her nuclear reaction was immediate, as it usually is when it comes to these sorts of things. "How dare you accuse me of doing the things I'm doing!"
IMHO, I think Lana is fully aware and just likes the attention. You, as her boomer father, probably aren't aware, but Lana has a bit of a history.
But that's just me. Me, and everyone else. Me, Lana's friends, Lana's boyfriend, Lana's siblings. Lana and Dan might think their slick little game of internet footsie has gone unnoticed, but everyone's had a peek under that table. I mean, it's right there, in plain sight.
And by the way, if you're reading this and thinking it sounds incredibly familiar.....
Yes.
It's about you, Lana.
I'm not blaming Creepy Dan. He's gross, no fucking doubt, but you fully encourage it so you're mostest grossest x infinity. Creepy Dan has gotta be like 70. He keeps bringing up diapers because he's probably wearing them again and it's making him nostalgic or some shit. "Hey honey, My my my, you sure have grown up! I made a present for you in my pants, just like the ones I used to watch you make when you were 2! Hubba Hubba 😘💩"
Your super hot boyfriend is going to dump you.
How sad that you'd risk that relationship for a little bit of flattery. Not even good flattery. This is some bottom of the barrel shit the rest of us scrape off our shoes.
